Thursday, July 24, 2064. According to www.deathclock.com, this will be
the day I meet my maker. Now, this isn’t the most scientific exercise
I’ve ever seen and I’m not sure I want to live to be over 100 years old
but it begs the question – what will my family be doing on July 25th
2064?
Helping Customers With the Grieving Process
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| Funerals are often the third largest purchase Canadians make in their lives. The billion-dollar industry in Canada will always be in demand because eventually everyone dies. |
Thursday, July 24, 2064. According to www.deathclock.com, this will be the day I meet my maker. Now, this isn’t the most scientific exercise I’ve ever seen and I’m not sure I want to live to be over 100 years old but it begs the question – what will my family be doing on July 25th 2064? If they’re like most families, they’ll be picking a funeral home, a casket, and writing the death announcement. The death notice will appear in the newspaper – mine will be in the “B” section, probably nestled between Mrs. Bailey and Mr. Byron. My life will be summarized into six sentences including details regarding where and when my service will be. The last line will probably read “In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to be made to ... (insert charity of choice). This phrase has probably resulted in a greater decline in floral sales than any other statement. It leaves one wondering, what role does the floral industry play in the grieving process?
A recent article in the Middletown Journal quoted Jim Armbruster of Armbruster’s Florist as saying that his floral business handled 12-15 funerals each week down from a peak of 75-100 arrangements per day. The “In lieu of flowers” trend has especially taken hold in the last 10 years. The phrase is so common in death announcements that it’s almost added automatically. It’s almost as though the traditional role that flowers played at a funeral is no longer relevant – people don’t feel flowers are necessary. There may be some truth to this, but it’s not necessarily because flowers don’t soothe the grieving process it’s because how and when we grieve has changed dramatically. We need to change too.
Funerals traditionally were all about mourning and flowers provided the backdrop for this tone. Lilies have been long associated with funerals. The lily was traditionally used on coffins and, according to experts, the poet Keats used it because, “the lily symbolized death”. The use of lilies at funerals symbolizes the restored innocence of the soul at death. Many people have come to associate the smell of lilies with bad memories of a traumatic funeral. Traditionally, funeral flowers were larger than life, arrangements that had a distinctive “funeral” look about them. You wouldn’t generally see a similar arrangement in other situations. If the family took them home, they then had the ‘pleasure’ of watching the flowers die – potentially a reminder of their loss. Funerals came with caskets, wakes and big headstones. They were one-size-fits-all – typically held in churches according to rigid religious doctrine. Not anymore. The great shift in the funeral industry is that it’s no longer focused on the loss, but rather the gift of the life being celebrated. It is here that the floral industry may find its true value in the grieving process.
 As with other celebrations of life’s great events like weddings and births, funerals are becoming increasingly customized affairs. It makes sense. The people we love and lose are unique individuals having lived unique lives. It soothes our sense of loss when we are allowed to really demonstrate who this person was to us. Nicki Daines, business manager for The Watering Can in St. Catharines, Ont., has noticed a definite trend towards customization.
“I had one lady recently who brought in a memento of a hobby she and her husband shared together and we used it to build a lovely arrangement for the service. It was important to her that his floral tribute be truly personal.” Daines also sees a firm movement away from traditional carnations and lilies. “Euro-style arrangements with bright unique flowers truly make the kind of statement many Baby Boomers are looking for. Older customers may still prefer traditional arrangements, but the boomers want something different. Many people are opting for live plants that can last as a tribute. Spring bulbs can be planted in a garden and become an annual affirmation of the life force. Some people are even taking the pre-arranging process into the floral shop and ‘registering’ their own floral choices for their service. This way, it’s just a matter of calling to confirm the service is needed and all the choices have already been made.” Fewer services involve a casket since cremation has become a more common choice of internment. Often, a memorial service will be held sometime after the death allowing people from out of town more time to make arrangements to be at the service.
Many people will send a floral tribute along with their donation to the charity of choice. It makes the gesture extra special. You may also suggest to customers that a nice arrangement sent a week or month after the loss may be the perfect touch at just the right time. Often it’s after everyone has gone home and we are alone that the reality of the loss sets in.
At first glance, it would appear as though the shift from “floral morbidity” to “floral affirmation” is a negative one for our industry. But when you think about it, this is a huge opportunity. Flowers are about life and the beauty of life. They’re really meant to play an uplifting role. Nicki Daines summed it up best. I asked her “What’s the biggest opportunity florists may currently be missing when servicing the bereavement industry?” Her answer: “Make them pretty.”
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