There are few things in life that are as difficult to face as the death of a loved one. A profound sense of loss often leaves bereaved family and friends unprepared for dealing with funeral arrangements. It has been estimated that over 136 individual activities must take place in order for one funeral to be conducted. This is where the funeral director becomes an organizational specialist.
Funeral Directors’ Perspective On ‘In Lieu of Flowers’
There are few things in life that are as difficult to face as the death of a loved one. A profound sense of loss often leaves bereaved family and friends unprepared for dealing with funeral arrangements. It has been estimated that over 136 individual activities must take place in order for one funeral to be conducted. This is where the funeral director becomes an organizational specialist.
Funeral directors often become the middleman between grieving family and florists. It’s vital to build a positive rapport with your local funeral homes, as they often refer their clients to florists they know and trust. Being responsible for the care and arrangement of floral pieces, and the post-funeral distribution as directed by the family, funeral directors become the first line of defence when combating ‘in lieu of flowers.’
Rick Golke, funeral home manager of First Memorial Funeral Services in Kelowna, B.C., does encourage flowers at funerals, but if a family is resolved to use ‘in lieu of’, he finds that he doesn’t have the time to argue the merits of not using the phrase with his clients. When asked how florists could help funeral homes, Golke suggests sending duplicate cards with arrangements, so they can detach one for the family, and leave the other to identify the arrangement. Sometimes the flowers are given away after the service, before the family has had time to remove the personalized card to acknowledge the well wishes from the sender.
Most of the people who Bruce Tannahill, from Tannahill Funeral Home Ltd. in Owen Sound, Ont., serves mention a charity for memorial donations but he leaves the decision of flowers to the individuals. Tannahill says they have been asked by their local florists to avoid the term ‘in lieu of’ and they comply, unless specifically asked by the family. As a funeral director, Tannahill admits there are frustrations caused by flowers, but he has come to rely on a few favourite florists who are prompt and reliable with deliveries and who are willing to go the extra mile.
As florists, you may not be able to change the public’s thoughts on ‘in lieu of flowers’, but by strengthening your relationship with your local funeral homes, you can build a trusting rapport with the funeral director. By alerting funeral directors of the negative economic impact to the floral industry and by building a solid business relationship, you’ll be one step ahead of combating the battle against ‘lieu.’ After all, knowing is half the battle!
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