Florists know that flowers play an important role to help comfort those grieving from the death of a loved one. But as the age of “in lieu of flowers” continues, florists need to develop a solid relationship with funeral directors in order to ensure flowers remain a vital part of the bereavement process.
For this month’s Point of View column, we spoke with Barb Culgin, a florist who owns and operates a joint funeral home and flower shop with her husband Ted in Gore Bay, Ont. Barb’s shop, Sentimental Flowers, is housed inside the Culgin Funeral Home and both work together to serve the small community with a population of 800 on Manitoulin Island.
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Barb Culgin owns and operates a joint funeral home and flower shop with her husband Ted in Gore Bay, Ont.
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The Culgins are a great example of how florists and funeral directors can work together to provide their customers with a comforting and memorable experience at one of the most difficult times of their lives.
Barb’s florist shop is located literally across the hall from the funeral home and the close proximity benefits Barb in a number of ways. When the family comes into the funeral home to discuss the funeral plans, the family can select their favourite flower or colours and share with Barb their vision for the funeral. Barb also has the luxury of co-ordinating the flowers for the service so “everything can be absolutely perfect.”
When people are ordering funeral flowers, she can look across the hall to see what’s missing and encourage a vase instead of an arrangement if one hasn’t been purchased. Alternatively, if the funeral appears to be well stocked with florals, Barb can suggest that the customer order flowers to be delivered to the family for the week following the funeral, to replenish the flowers. “I’m privy to a lot of information about the funerals,” says Barb. “I’m really lucky – it is the ideal situation.”
The Culgins don’t use the “in lieu of” phrase in death notices but they welcome both donations and flowers. “I’ve never used ‘in lieu of’ and I never will,” says Ted because he believes in the importance of flowers at a funeral. As for alternative phrases, Ted says he will often use “as an expression of sympathy donations may be made” or “if so desired donations may be given” in notices to encourage both flowers and donations. Through working at the funeral home, Barb has come to understand the value of donations and says they are very popular with their particular community. “We were surprised to see the number of donations. It’s rare that someone walks by the donation desk without donating.”
When asked what advice the couple has for florists as they work with funeral directors, Barb laughs and says “marry them first!” On a more serious note, Ted says communication is key. He advises florists to make sure they take the time to call the funeral home before the delivery trucks go out. Just because the newspaper says the service starts at 7, doesn’t mean that’s when the flowers should arrive. Guests and family often come early and people get upset when the flowers aren’t there. “It’s important to call the funeral home to find out when the family will be coming in – don’t go by the newspaper.” When he worked at previous funeral homes, Ted also saw flowers that basically needed to be rearranged by the time they got off delivery trucks because they’d tipped over or the water had spilt everywhere. He says florists need to keep the delivery logistics in mind when preparing designs.
Barb finishes by adding that the most important thing a florist must remember when working with a funeral director is the matter of respect. “The funeral director’s job is extremely demanding both physically and emotionally.” She says this can be elevated in a small town when the funeral director knows everyone who walks through the door. “The fact that time is of the essence and everything must be perfect within a limited amount of time adds to the stress of the work. The funeral director works hard to make everything perfect and easy for the family and the florist should work hard to do this too.”
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